December 6, 2021

Dear Future Me

By: Jennifer-Marie Fairchild

Original Image by Jennifer-Marie Fairchild

Dear Future Me,

When you realize you have possibly lived half of your life, trying to figure out what to say to your future self becomes almost comical. What would you tell an old lady rather than a young woman with her whole life ahead of her? Make sure you wash your dentures? Stay away from the tapioca pudding, those bubble things are weird? Hopefully your kids did not stick you in a nursing, but if they did try to make friends? Don’t miss BINGO night? Hopefully you’ve learned how to knit by now. You will need to pass away the time until you finally kill over. Figure out how to slow down time because it feels like it only speeds up from here, because really, what do you say to yourself when you’ve likely already lived half of your life.

All joking aside, I really wanted to give this some thought. As a parent, after we have children, most of our lives not only center around raising our children, but hoping that the how and why we have made the choices we have made were the right and moral ones. While I know I am no different than anyone else and I simply am doing the best I can with what I have, I want my children to know that I loved them and gave them the best life I possibly could. I have tried to raise them to see that happiness lies not in the material, but in family, people, experiences, and memories. In my old age, if I can look at my grown children and see the efforts of my labors to impart that wisdom and know they truly live by this belief, I will know I have done my job as a parent. I simply would advise my future self to stay true to this as much as you possibly can no matter what the consequences might be. You will lose friends and likely drift from others, but never stray from your moral compass.

I would also advise future (and likely significantly aged) me to remember first how you treat others, especially those who matter most. While my educational and career pursuits are incredibly meaningful and of great importance to my own personal goals, how I treat my husband and children is even more so. If I have learned anything in life, jobs come and go and while you might be an important part, perhaps even invaluable part of a company or organization, you are replaceable. Companies still have to run even after you have left and while you might have done great work while there, they will find someone else to do great work in your absence. In truth you are invaluable to those who love you and you should never forget nor minimize that gift. I have yet to see a tombstone with a person’s profession listed on the epitaph; however, people will remember if you were a loving mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. Invest in your relationships so they have something kind to say about you when you are gone from this physical world.

Hopefully by now you will have learned to not give a s***. Seriously. Stop caring so much about what people think. I know I am trying daily to remember this, but by 75 surely, I will have it mastered. Hold your head high and be proud of the woman you are and the life you have lived and who cares about any of the background nonsense… it is and always will be just noise. And lastly, maybe just eat the tapioca. Who knows… maybe those weird little bubble things will feel good on your gums.

Sincerely,

A Slightly Less Wrinkled Version of Me

Original Image by Jennifer-Marie Fairchild